Sad Heart Happy Memories
It is with a heavy heart that I write to tell you that a dear and special friend to Dance On the Wild Side and my drumming brother, Ed Thill, passed away suddenly this week.
I met Ed about 8 years ago, when I first began to facilitate dance meditation. He sauntered in one evening – captivated, delighted and enthralled with the rhythmic movement, and never left. He was fascinated with what was for him, a whole new way of life and living. He quickly became a dear friend to all of the drum and dance community as he branched out and immersed himself in many avenues of dance and drumming events. We had many great chats about life and spirituality, and what makes a meaningful life. Ed lived his spirituality and philosophy of life to the fullest. It feels like there is a big hole in our circle now and we will miss him terribly.
Ed, my friend – your sudden departure has given us all much to ponder. How will we reflect at this poignant ending of our year? What changes will we make in our lives? As we walk this labyrinth of life, what is our YES? It seems as though we each have a bag of seeds to sow and sprinkle about, and when we come to the bottom of our bag, our laughing God gently lifts us into a new realm, as the tears and laughter of our loved ones continue to water and nurture the life we have fostered.Thank you for reminding us that life is a mystery and the journey never ends.The Spirit that connects us, our heart, and love that we share is boundless and lasts forever. Everything else is just temporary. You have shown us that death is a passing on to something even bigger, a new celebration of living.
We are grateful that your journey to Source was swift. The timing certainly put a big damper on our holiday cheer and left us all reeling, but we understand. When will we stop being so surprised that life never guarantees us a waltz into a happy old age? Your sudden premature passing makes us understand that life is as much about loss and letting go, as it is about embracing new challenges and growth. We really should never be surprised at life, and what it brings – because…. that’s life! Still, let us also remember that emotions are sacred and a necessary part of grieving. Let us support one another and be tender and patient with the emotions of loss.
You heard a call in life and responded with passion, love, devotion, and so much sparkling energy. The love and passion you discovered spilled out into the beautiful way you treated and responded to others. We know you were there, as an angel for many, whenever there was a need. Many called you friend! All we can say is thanks, buddy. We love you and will miss you like crazy – but you have given every one of us a treasured gift that reminds us to be lovers of life, to walk our talk, take care of each other, and live with passion. My deepest condolences to your family who cherished you.
I am reminded of some of my favorite words from Clarissa Pinkola Estes:
“The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.”
I have a last memory of Ed in my heart that is just beautiful and I’d like to share it.
At the Solstice Dance and Drum event this past Saturday – Ed came over and gave me a big hug and kiss before he left. Rather than turn and walk away, he backed away blowing kisses. His face was aglow with happiness, and his aura was shimmering with joy. I stood there watching him, happy and exhausted, thinking – this feels like a dream sequence. In my memory it seemed to be happening in slow motion. I will always remember him this way. Happy, aglow, full of love and joy! I think I introduced him to his first drum circle – it blew him away. The rest is history. He pursued drumming and dance like he was on borrowed time – fast furious and couldn’t seem to get enough. But he always had time for a friend in need. I know that about him. He was a one of a kind kinda guy! You will be missed Ed – but never forgotten!
Much Love ~ Emmy Your Wild Woman
a passionate fire
a thing of blazing gold
and let me laugh in your joy
my laughing God
and leap in your rising
~ Catherine DeVinck